How you view your recovery determines whether it goes smoothly and at a nice pace, or slowly as you kick and scream through each step. If you were dieting, say, and thinking how hard it is to drop a few pounds, it is tough. If you see an image of yourself, thin, full of energy, and wearing clothes that don't hide that spare tire you sport, you are motivated and will accomplish your desired weight. It's the old "half full or half empty glass" scenario. It really doesn't matter what you are trying to achieve in life, how you see the task determines the outcome.
There is a difference when recovering from addictions. Normally, a person new to recovery, has bottomed out. They care less about the glass being half full or empty. They are hopeless, broken, friendless often, jobless much of the time. Their spouse wants them long gone, children are embarrassed by their behavior, and many entering have legal consequences pending. They hear that there may be a chance of getting better by entering a twelve-step program, so they try it out. Newbies to recovery want the steps to be done quickly, like a couple of days, get their diploma to show their families they really mean business this time, and then back to what they were doing days before, once the pain stops.
The majority see that this is not a quick fix and that time is required to complete the steps to improved living. Once that is realized, they may hit the door, or keep on until the miracle happens. Those are the ones I hope see this post. Don't try to rush through the steps. The way to accomplish a steady pace is to choose a sponsor wisely, listen to their advice, and determine to see sobrieties steps as thrilling as climbing Mt. Everest. From the bottom, it looks impossible, unachievable. But with each step, the impossibility begins to fade and the awareness of making it to the end comes into focus.
As a sponsor, I have been both poor and good at the job. I feel I have had an epiphany, as it were, to motivate those I work with of their ability to make it work, no matter how down they are when arriving to recovery meetings. The way to do this must come from my own attitude toward recovery. Words are key when dealing with anyone looking to scale the mountain. Can, will, know, achieve, believe, must take the place of maybe, can't, won't, doubt. Yes, we are powerless, but the steps work for anyone with the mental capability to understand. Yes, we have an insanity problem, but God will restore our minds to better than before. Yes, we have done great harm to ourselves and others, but God will energize us to be a healing balm to others as He heals us.
Helping the ones new to recovery see that they can make it, will cause their recovery to go smoothly and at a good pace. No guarantees, their will comes into play. Like the dieter, they have to see themselves whole again, a new improved self. My job as a sponsor is to feed that need, not feed the negative monster. They will work the steps not ride them with God and good guidance.
Thanks for reading, God bless and keep you all.