"Just be yourself," is a phrase we hear regularly when we are nervous about an interview, or a date, or speaking before a group of people, etc. That advice is good and may be terrible. What I mean by that is, if you are going before a group of people to speak but you are extremely shy, you may want to be a different person throughout your speech. If you are taking a person on a date for the first time, you may want to talk about them much more than about yourself. If you are sitting in front of an interviewer and having questions fired at you, you need to answer confidently and concisely, not fumble around on your answers. I do mean to lie about anything, or be phony. In certain situations, we need to step outside of the way we are, and adopt a certain boldness, or be devoured by fear.

Warning,  Danger Ahead!
Empowerment is a popular term. Everyone looks to be empowered by others positive reinforcement, or past reminders of personal successes we have had. In my time in recovery from alcoholism and drug use, I have noticed how that when the recovering addict or alcoholic become clean and sober, they get this feeling of empowerment feeling it is unnecessary to continue working on their recovery, and cease going to meetings, cease praying and improving themselves. This "comfort zone" is the "danger zone" for each person that this is true about.

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interest, but also in the interest of others." Phil.2:3-4 NIV

The pride.
How do recovering addicts, alcoholics, porn addicts, gamblers, overeaters, etc, enter the danger zone by no longer attending meetings like AA, Celebrate Recovery, NA, and the like? It is the thought process in the individuals mind, the thought that I haven't thought of doping or drinking in years, or I don't think pornographic any longer, that puts that person in the area of pride, and pride is a personal invitation to the evil one.

"So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful you don't fall!" 1Cor.10:12

That is just how I am.
I thought at one time that once I was sober, I would replace recovery meetings with church. I would put all of my efforts into doing the "work of God." Afterall, these meetings are full of people that curse, hate religion, and especially dislike Jesus. My sponsor warned me that those were bad ideas. He was right. I watched several try that and as far as I know, they are still out there drinking. Church does not replace recovery meetings, and recovery meetings does not, could never, replace church. Well, I am not into drunk-meetings, I am not going to do anything but go to church. Okay, that's your choice. You have realized that you are special, not like others. Is that it?

Giving it back.
Keep this in mind, where did you come from? How did you get sober? Who delivered you from filthy thoughts every waking hour? If you do not know, it was God that got you to the recovery meeting, and it wasn't just for you. He wants you and I to give ourselves to others, to move away from being you, and become Jesus to those suffering, or struggling to stay sober. You need recovery meetings because others need you. You really need to attend church if you are a follower of Christ, and fellowship with the family. This is a balance we all must get to, or continue the struggle.

Do you think there is another way?
Thanks for reading, God bless and keep you all!

Is everything in your life going as you expected it to? In my time living sober, I have a new perspective regarding my own expectations. As I entered into this way of life, all I could see was a broken past with lost dreams I had given up to live with the in-crowd. I held on to the hopes of high-living all the way through years of drinking.

In time I was able to shake off the guilt and the failures, and began working with others seeking help from drinking and drugging, and helping them through the 12 step program. I originally planned to never lose even one I sponsored, thinking how I could change the traditional way of guiding the one needing help with my excellent leadership abilities. That, as you probably know, didn't work. Every expectation I had was shattered. The harder I tried to hold on to their being successful, the more I failed, the more disappointed I became. Those I expected to failed, continue to prove me wrong and the ones I thought would surely succeed, failed miserably.

"I have held many things in my hands and lost them all; but whatever I placed in God's hands, that I still possess." - Martin Luther

Hold on loosely
As a child develops learning skills, they become so interesting to talk to. It is a pleasure to watch them learn to write their ABC's and read from a book. They cannot be pushed too hard or they struggle to learn. But with encouragement and motivation, their skills may come smoothly. If we go step further and pray for the child learning, and place the outcome into God's hands, the learning may come even easier, still with our encouragement and motivation. We turn our expectations away from the child, to the Father above. The same  approach must be taken with those I may work with in recovery. Remove the expectation and pressure, let them initiate contact, and their journey is much surer, my frustrations were fewer.

I have the same experiences in my walk with Christ. I learn daily how far above His ways are above mine. I think I am doing things right by sharing my experience, strengths, and hopes with others by writing these posts and helping others in their recovery, but I can see that I leave out time with God to do those things. What that does for me is dulls my spiritual awareness, and I wind up spending precious time struggling to think of how to say the right things. When He is my priority, the thoughts flow and I seem to have an answer, a topic, and a spirititual insight for needed help. Yet I hold on to my way, and my failure prone expectations.

The answer for us all is this:  Our "ministry" does not matter, if we hold onto the control buttons, as though the message belongs to us. It is God-given. The paradox is that we place the work, and it's outcome into His hands to see it succeed. Like the small child learning, our entire life is learning to hold loosely, and be willing to let go. Does that make sense?

What we hold.  
We have all heard that when we pass away we leave it all behind. The saying, "you can't take it with you," is the popular way of saying that. I beg to differ. I will not leave it all behind. Jesus said these words:

"Do not lay up treasures for yourselves on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasure in heaven where neither moth or rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matt. 6:19-21 NKJV

What treasure does He mean? He isn't talking about dollars, silver, and gold, that are uneccessary in heaven. My account, your account is based on our life and service here on earth. Giving love to the unlovely, time to the lonely, strength to the weak, has comforting rewards on earth. Doing the work of Jesus by serving those in need, brings Him to life through us to them. We benefit as much or more than the ones we help. And our treasure grows in heaven. Paydays with God are unending.

I understand that this life here is the place where we learn from trial to trial, to conform to the image of Christ, learning and developing the "fruit" of the spirit to where we instantly know to let go and let God, or to hold loosely and trust the outcome to His hands, but it remains a hard thing to do. But we continue to do what is needed and build treasures in our eternal account. The important thing to remember is to give Him the time and not put a clutch-hold on anything, allow each experience to be a lesson, and be trusting as a child for the results.

Thanks for reading, God bless and keep you all.