We all want to think that people see us as solid individuals, people that anyone can trust. We want are families to be seen as "above reproach" to the people we associate with on every level. We take great pride in our personal achievements and in those of our children. Furthermore we don't want to look "bad" at all, as though we were super-do-somethings, looking down on our world and it's subjects. Get off the throne highness.
The truth is; everyone knows the real you, what your family is really like, but you don't know they know. What others see is not the perfect you, but the real you. That doesn't mean anything bad, but not what you hope others see.
When the tempest of life rocks your world, you file bankruptcy, your child is arrested for drug abuse, or your spouse gets a OVI, and your hidden world is revealed...then what? Things always comes to light, both good and bad. When the cat's out of the bag we face the choices of admission or denial. The easy way is to blame others: "My son was hanging around the wrong kids, that's all it was"...maybe your child is the wrong kid others were hanging around. "My husband/wife really is not a drinker, he just had one too many at a work party." Stop denying, everyone knows they're a problem drinker.
Here's some thoughts from scripture to consider, but before reading these, don't get down on yourself from areas you know you've lived in denial. This world we live in today only goes for the facade, the outer image that we all see and criticize. Ask God to help you in your effort to face reality. God does resist the proud and gives grace to the humble. (1Pet.5:7)
"For if anyone thinks himself to be something, when he is nothing,
he deceives himself." Gal.6:3 (NKJV)
"Confess your sins to one each other, and pray for each other so
you may be healed." Jas.5:16 (NIV)
The danger of denial is that our covering up our own faults can make them worse. That spouse, embarrassed by that OVI/DUI, kept on until they've killed someone else in a vehicle, or the child ends up either dead or a life sentence in prison because we blamed others, or made silly excuses. Name it and claim it! Don't fear running to your friends that know how to pray and ask for help! Tell the whole world if neccessary, don't let your delusions today cause you grief and sorrow tomorrow.
And one final word. If your circle of friends thrive on gossip, finger pointing, or any type of prideful behavior, change friends. Find those who have a sincere desire for the good of all, pitch the proud...God does. If that's you that has the prideful phoniness, go find a place to fall on your knees and ask God forgiveness in humility, then do the same with your friends and family. I'm not saying to tell everything about your privacy, but don't try to hide common knowledge. God will help you.
Thanks for reading, God bless and keep you all, Keith.