Tonight my heart was heavy tonight, thinking of those drinkers, and the addicts still active in their darkness. I know there are many still drinking and using dope, and feeling their situation is hopeless, no chance of ever getting better. At home, their spouse sets, perhaps with the children, lonely but trying to play of the missing parents behavior, but in their minds rehearsing how he/she said they were through using drugs, or drinking, yet tonight they're at it again. The jukebow is nearly deafening as the drunks get more deaf as they drink. There is no thought of the pain they're inflicting on their loved ones, for the moment. But when last call comes around 2:00 am, reality of what they have done starts to sit in for those that haven't blacked out from their night long debauchery. How can I face her/him? The addict is settled in at the dope house for the night, oblivious of everyone in their life, just wanting not to be sick, to put the poison in and make it through the night. None of these see the real need in their life, too self-absorbed. Life is not as they hoped it would be, and seems to get worse. Saturday nights can be very lonely for families that have that loved one, the spouse, or child, or close friend, hooked on self-destruction.
This was my life at one time. I lived to party. Not just Saturday, but any day as long as it ended with a "y." I did think of my spouse at home with the kids, mainly hoping the kids would be in such a deep sleep they would miss the main event. Their mother and I would surely fight this night. Although that wasn't always the case, my selfishness blinded me to the loss of sleep I caused in the household. But God in His mercy, eventually led me out of that life of misery and hopelessness, right into helping hands of people in the recovery rooms of AA. God led me to AA, AA led me back to God. I returned to enough sanity to realize I needed Him, and them. Because of His grace to me, I'm alive today tell you this, seriously, alive.
I think why me? You may be thinking right now, why not us? Ask God for help right now and it can be you. And keep asking. When the drunken spouse, child, or friend gets in reeling from their night of hooping it up, don't try to talk about their need for God's help, just keep talking to God, ask Him to do the changing and He will. Don't make foolish promises you won't keep, but just be willing to do what's necessary to help that loved one stay clean and sober. Surrender to Him without a fight with them. You can rest assured that God will work on the other end if you stay out of it. Surrendering to Christ is the greatest event of my life, though I have to do it daily. Do this, ask Him in now, your life will turn the corner of loneliness and sorrow, into real joy.
Thanks for reading...speaking of reading, read the Gospel of John this weekend. God bless and keep you all. Keith