AA's Big Book has the 12-steps to sober living beginning on page 58. You can read the Big Book on the net on AA's web site. Step one says, "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol- that our lives had become unmanagable." This one sentence, when really realized, is life changing to the alcoholic, or addict. (The Big Book of NA is the same, the words drugs in place of alcohol. As the words sink in to each of us wanting to quit drinking and using, we see our unmanagability in every area of life, if we are sincere about getting well.
These same steps that keep us sober can be used to improve other areas of our lives. Acceptance is the greater part of getting rid of character flaws, shortcomings, and old habits. Some habits, however, may require additional or professional help. Acceptance of your addiction can stay clean and sober, seeing what you really are, what you have become, can give you the drive to get better, and cause you to seek help. This is true with fears, gambling, porn addiction, etc. Accept it and admit it. You can admit your sin, flaw, or habit to yourself, but you must take it up one more level. You take this/these issues to God in prayer. Tell Him, as though He didn't know your problem, ask His forgiveness and to cleanse you from it. He will help.
Oh yeah, one more thing, admit it to another person. I know this is tough, but it is necessary. We have to be held responsible for our actions. We accept it, tell God, and someone else. These 3 things can make the difference in getting and staying free of any or all flaws, or sins. And some issues are merely flaws not sin. Being habitually late, for example, may not be a sin, at least not yet. If being tardy for everything fills you with guilt, and you know you can improve witha little effort, congratulations! you have a sin. Back to the topic, be sure you tell this secret to a truly reliable person. Don't use a spouse or someone you know is a gossip. If you want to your sin in the church bulletin, pick a gossip. No, seriously, find a godly person who has a known track record for helping others without having a need to say they help others. Your spouse may have enough dealing with your getting over addictions, and revealing more about yourself wouldn't be wise right now. Don't throw gasoline on the bonfire, that's a different step.
"Confess your faults one to another, and pray for one another..." James 5:16 (NKJV)
"Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." Gal. 6:2 (NKJV)
The key to overcoming unmanagablility is coming to grips with the fact that you aren't unique, you have to accept, admit, and continue to improve your life by service. Don't think for a moment that it's hard. With each little step ahead, there is more freedom, serenity, friendships, and more. Thanks for reading, God bless and keep you all, Keith.