Time, where does it go? I wanted to use these past four days off from work and write a post each day, but didn't, couldn't. Inundated with household duties and distractions, I didn't even have time enough to finish those important things. I missed CR and AA this week, an NA meeting on Sunday afternoon. I really didn't realize this weekend was Palm Sunday! This afternoon I return to work for a three week stretch. There is more wah-wahs, but I will spare you.
It may be hard to realize God, in the middle of turmoil we face in life. Having all of these things that need taken care of can even take our time with the Father away from us to the point we question our own faithfulness to Him, and His calling on our lives. God where are you in all of this? What does this all mean? Why can I not do what I feel you want me to do?
One great lesson I learned about recovery from addictions is that I must surrender. I must surrender every area of my life, relinquish all control, putting to death personal desire and expectations, that Christ may reign through me. Even surrender what He has for me to do. That lesson came as I recovered from alcoholism and drug use, not in church.
"Let this same mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus." Phil.2:5 NKJV
Jesus laid aside all of His regal rights, all of the beauty of heaven, to come to a place and live in a body with a mere five senses, be hated, and rejected. That is surrender we could never imagine. He did that, experienced everything we experience so that we could never say..."God, You don't understand what I'm going through!"
We cannot understand what he did fully . We can try to conform by surrendering self's ambitions to reign with Him now. When I say, "okay Lord, I give up every bit of hope that my writing will bring me notoriety, or any recognition by others,...but honor You and help people." When I fully realize that my best efforts are taking preeminence over His glory, and I take those things and place them where they belong...in His hands, I have surrendered, He brings the bounty.
"I have held many things in my hands and have lost them all. Those things I placed in God's hands, those I still have." Martin Luther
What it all means is that you and I have no ability to control the stormy seas of life. If we follow Christ, there comes a point in which we think we have arrived, we control situations, we are leaders. When appointed, we fearfully rule, suspicious of shadows or possibilities that someone or something will topple our plans, so we rule as though we are in charge. Friends, we are not. That stifles personal growth, splits churches, silences great voices, blocks inspirational writings.
My understanding of God's purpose in my life of sobriety and Christian service comes in bits and pieces. Sadly, I have to re-learn some things, especially surrender. Jesus got it right the first time, to our benefit as we believe and follow Him. I want His mind to be my guide. Then I can let go of thinking I must perform or disappoint, time to write will come, and days off will be peaceful and restful.
Thanks for reading, God bless and keep you all.